Every time one human kicks the bucket at least two more of the fuckers are created somewhere else. The experts think we come together in pairs because of biological programming. Survival of the species, but they’re wrong.
The truth is human beings have a terror of loneliness. They couple up and make babies in the vain hope that they’ll never be alone again. But not me. Me, I’ve evolved. I don’t need anyone else.
Prolonged contact with another human being breaks me out in hives. Intimacy?Fucking yuck. And why am I like this? Because people like you need people like me to stay alone and sober so that we’ll patch you up when you’re broken and when you can’t be patched up anymore. I may not be in the race, I may even be a miserable sod, but I can generally get to your doorstep in under eight minutes.
So bring on another day.